


Well, There WAS This One Time ...

by goldfishoflove



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Post-Coital Cuddling, Smut, Vaginal Sex, in that order, just two twosomes that take place years apart, obviously, to be clear this is not a threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 20:09:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishoflove/pseuds/goldfishoflove
Summary: Over a hundred years in close quarters, some casual hookups are bound to happen. Barry tells Lup a story.





	Well, There WAS This One Time ...

“Hmm … of the crew?” Lup looked thoughtful. She was sprawled out in bed, half-covered by a sheet and illuminated only by the moonlight through the window. “I think I hooked up with Magnus first.”

Barry laughed. “Yeah, not surprised. Uh … same, actually.”

“Oh!” Lup raised her eyebrows. “Wait, since when do you swing that way?”

“I mean I don’t, like, usually. And it hasn’t exactly come up in a while.” Barry brushed her arm fondly. “But, yeah, I go for it once in a while.”

“Hot.” Lup rolled from her back onto her side so she could snuggle up to him. She reached over to stroke the hair on his chest, unperturbed by a thin layer of sweat. “So … how’d it happen … ?”

“Uh …” Barry chuckled self-consciously. “I don’t know, Lup, it was a long time ago.”

“C’mon.” Lup peered up at him from under her eyelashes. “I wanna hear the story!”

Barry grinned and leaned over to kiss her. “I mean, I can try, but I’m gonna be making up the details.”

“Perfect. I get the good version.” Lup reached down to retrieve the quilt they’d kicked to the end of the bed and tug it over her bare shoulders. As she settled next to him again, Barry began,

“Um, well, you remember when we were doing two-person watches any time everybody else was off the ship? It was way back then. This one day it was me and Magnus--uh, obviously, I guess--and that year was real calm, so there wasn’t a lot to watch for.”

 

Magnus paced beside the rail, doing agitated laps in a horseshoe from one side of the bridge to the other. Barry sat in the middle with his feet crossed on the table they’d dragged onto the deck. He had a notebook in his lap but hadn’t turned a page in about twenty minutes. Instead he hung his head back to stare at the few clouds drifting across the warm sky. His eyes had just started to flicker closed when Magnus’s hands came down on his shoulders. Barry jumped.

“Stay sharp, Bluejeans.” Magnus shot him a toothy grin, which Barry squinted at upside down from his chair. “Quiet day or not, we're still on watch.”

Magnus was shirtless as usual, his IPRE jacket loose over his shoulders. The odd angle put Barry’s eye level at Magnus’s abdomen, a layer of softness over an unmistakably muscular core.

Barry sat up and tossed his notes lightly onto the table. “Fair enough. But I bet not much happens in the last, uh, what is it, forty minutes or so?”

“Ugh, speak for yourself.” Magnus threw himself into the other chair. “I traded with Lup, I've got another four hours after this.”

 

“Oh hell yeah, I'm in this story.”

Barry laughed. “No you're not, you were in town. I think you and Taako were shopping all day, you found some amazing farmer’s market. Supposedly. I never saw it.”

“Wait …” Lup squinted distantly. “I know this one. Tons of bright pink trees? Nice climate?”

“That's the one.”

“Oh man, I remember that market! We got so much fucking stuff, we had to get Magnus to … wait, this can't be the same day, then, right? He was with us.”

Barry raised his eyebrows.

Lup pressed her lips together and waited.

 

Magnus fidgeted in his chair, craning his neck to peer off to the side of the ship in one direction and then the other.

“Seems like you're regretting the trade,” Barry observed.

“I mean, this is my job, I'm happy to do it.” Magnus didn't look happy to do it.

Barry watched him fidget glumly for a minute while the gears turned in his own head. “... you were betting on Lup and Taako being scheduled together.”

“They _were_!” Magnus groaned. “So I traded Lup, and then Taako traded with Cap’nport … “

“And now instead of spending a shift alone with Taako or getting to hang out with both of them, you're gonna be stuck on watch with literally the only person in the world who gives a shit if you fall asleep at the switch.”

Magnus straightened. “I would _never_!”

“No, I know. But the point stands.”

“... yeah.”

Barry shot him a sympathetic smile and reached for his notes again, flipping back to the page he’d been not-reading earlier. After a few minutes, Magnus glanced at him sidelong.

“Hey, Barry.”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna switch with me?”

Barry raised his eyebrows. “As in stay on watch for the next four hours? Not particularly.”

Magnus leaned forward against the table. “What if I take your next two shifts?”

“That’s tempting, but I doubt we’re going to stay on watches after everyone gets back. I might not have two more shifts.”

“Hmm …” Magnus looked thoughtful. “Take your next two shifts and suck your dick?”

“I’m _sorry_?”

Magnus grinned. “You heard me.”

“That’s … uh.” Barry blinked at the table a few times. “I was not expecting that.”

“Hey, you’re thinking about it.”

Barry opened his mouth and then closed it again.

It had been a _long_ time. Maybe ten years, by now. Some of the others, he knew, slipped off with locals from time to time. No shame in that, but it had been hard enough for him to get that kind of comfortable with someone on his own planet, when he didn’t know they were likely to be destroyed in a matter of months. One night stands with doomed aliens wasn’t really his scene. So he mostly didn’t think about it, and jerked off from time to time, but the thought of actually having someone else’s mouth on him … Barry felt himself flush. He did trust Magnus, and certainly neither of them was trying to start anything serious. Maybe it could just be fun.

“... all right,” he said. “Sure.”

 

“Hey, quick question before this gets good,” said Lup.

“Yeah?”

“When is this vis a vis …” she waved a hand between them. “Us?”

“Oh, this is way before us. Like, decades.”

“No, I know. But I know you were thinking about it for a long time first.” She grinned.

“Ah. Yeah.” Barry smiled, a little bashful. “Um … I mean, I’d _noticed_ you, because, well, I’d _met_ you, right? So I was … definitely attracted to you, but I don’t think I knew how bad I had it yet.”

“Okay, cool.”

“... why?”

Lup beamed. “I wanted to know if I should be imagining you thinking about me, for this next part.”

Barry’s laugh rumbled in his chest. “No, I wasn’t. Not yet. Even later, actually. It was always a separate thing for me.”

“Later, huh?”

“I … look, one story at a time.”

“Fiiine.”

 

Magnus tapped the table edge invitingly, and as Barry stood up, he felt his heart start to beat a little faster. He couldn’t tell how much was nervousness and how much was excitement. Were they really doing this?

Barry half-sat and half-leaned against the table. Magnus suddenly seemed a lot bigger, standing close in front of him, but he peered at Barry’s face with a gentle expression.

“You good?”

Barry nodded. “Yeah.” He let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. “Sorry, I’m just … s’been a while.”

“It’s cool.” Magnus grinned. “I’ve known you too long to be alarmed by you being nervous.”

Barry couldn’t help laughing at that, and relaxed a little.

Magnus nodded approvingly. “But poke me if you’re not feeling it, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” Barry watched Magnus kneel in front of him, and realized belatedly that he could be doing something useful. While he fumbled with his belt, Magnus stroked the front of his jeans, taking his time with the zipper. Barry felt a little relieved to be getting hard already. Wasn’t too nervous for that, at least. He tugged his shirt up a little as they got his fly open.

Magnus paused to shrug his jacket off his shoulders and throw it onto a chair. Looking at him half-naked, Barry had the ridiculous thought that this suddenly felt a lot less like crewmates fooling around and a lot more like sex. Then Magnus leaned forward and ran his tongue up the length of Barry’s cock, and that wasn’t ridiculous at all.

Barry leaned back a little, taking a slow breath and letting it out. Magnus drew back and wrapped his lips around Barry’s head. He sucked lightly and caressed it with the flat of his tongue, then slid about halfway down, increasing the pressure until Barry moaned and pushed his hips forward reflexively. Magnus made a pleased noise, which in turn made Barry shiver. He bobbed his head slowly, leaving a wet trail of saliva, then did it again, faster.

“F-fuck,” Barry gasped. He held the edge of the table as he rocked his hips slowly into Magnus’s mouth. Magnus reached out and grabbed one of his hands, tugging it towards him, until Barry got the hint and pushed his fingers through Magnus’s hair. He gripped it loosely at first, trying not to thrust too hard. Then Magnus pushed all the way forward, letting the tip of Barry’s cock slide back into his throat, and Barry stopped worrying about that.

Barry let his head fall back. His skin prickled with heat, and with the hand that wasn’t holding Magnus against him he started unbuttoning his shirt. Magnus grabbed Barry’s hips, holding him steady, and the press of his fingers around Barry’s ass brought back old memories and a new thrill of arousal. Barry groaned and abandoned the last button to hold Magnus’s head between his hands. They pulled against each other in quick, short thrusts until Barry panted,

“Hey Mags?”

Magnus pulled off of him with a wet pop but stayed close. His breath made Barry’s hardon twitch.

“Yeah?”

Barry pushed the words out in a rush, before he had time to think about them. “D’you wanna fuck me?” When he found the nerve to glance at Magnus’s face, he was gratified by the hungry look he found there.

“... yeah.” Magnus grinned. “Yeah I do.”

 

“For someone who asked to hear this, you’re being … really distracting.”

Lup paused her slow stroking. “Hey, don’t blame me, this was hard when I got here.”

Barry couldn’t argue with that.

“I _am_ looking forward to finding out which one of you had fuckin’ lube on your person while you were standing watch, though.”

“Oh, there’s a, uh.” Barry looked sheepish. “Transmutation cantrip. That just changes oil to water and vice versa. I think it was invented mostly to use in the other direction, but … yeah. We did have water with us.”

Lup stared at him. “What the fuck is this cantrip and why haven’t I heard of it before?”

“I don’t actually know what it’s called. I think it’s just been passed along from gay wizard to gay wizard.” Barry grinned. “Betcha Taako knows it.”

Lup clamped a hand over his mouth. “You did not just say that and we are not having this conversation.”

Barry shook with laughter, his wheezing muffled by Lup’s hand. She glared as she released him.

Barry bit down the last of his giggles. “I love you.”

“Hmph.” Lup leaned over and kissed him firmly. When she started to pull away, he rolled onto his side to follow, cupping her hip in his hand. She curled close to him, and their tongues lingered in each other’s mouths.

“Okay,” Lup breathed. “I believe you were about to get nailed by our esteemed security officer.”

 

Barry undid the last button on his shirt and pulled it off as Magnus stood up. He turned around and eased his jeans over his hips, and Magnus immediately slid a hand across his bare ass. When he slapped it lightly, Barry’s laugh didn’t quite cover his gasp. Magnus chuckled and did it again, harder. Barry swallowed a groan as he bent over the table.

Magnus teased him a little with a slippery fingertip, and Barry bit his lip and shifted to lean on one arm. He stroked himself with his other hand as Magnus pushed the finger into him.

“Still good?”

“Y-yeah!” Barry breathed deeply, making himself relax. In the back of his mind he was aware of how exposed they were right now, and of the unseen countdown until at least one of their crewmates arrived back at the ship. But those concerns were overwhelmed by how good it felt to be touched, by the heat of the rhythm they were building, and by anticipation. Magnus slipped another finger into him and Barry shook off one pant leg so he could prop his knee up on the table, opening himself up even more. He heard Magnus grunt approvingly.

“One more?” Magnus offered.

“Not sure,” Barry said. “Give me a sec.” He still felt tight around the slow, steady thrust of Magnus’s hand. He also hadn’t actually seen Magnus’s dick yet, but not having any idea what he was in for sparked more excitement than nervousness. His hand had stilled at some point, and he slid it back along his length so he could run a thumb over his dripping tip. Magnus shifted his angle a little and Barry inhaled sharply at the rush of sensation. He pushed back, wanting more.

“... I’m ready.” Barry was flustered by the breathiness of his own voice. For a second he wasn’t sure Magnus had heard him, as the slow thrusts of his fingers continued. Then he was empty, and he squirmed impatiently, pushing himself into his own hand.

Magnus smirked. “ _Yeah_ you are.” Barry flushed. He hadn’t expected to get this into it. Well, even less than he expected to be doing it at all … but it was hard to remember why when the head of Magnus’s cock was pressing into him. He tried and failed to stifle a moan as Magnus slowly filled him, then pulled almost all the way out and slid back in, faster this time. Barry could feel the restraint in the contrast between the slow tempo and the tight grip of Magnus’s hands on his hips, and he shivered.

“Hey Bear.” Magnus’s voice was husky, even for him.

“Yeah?”

“You said before that we had about forty minutes left, right?”

“Yeah … ?” Had he heard someone coming? Barry tensed a little as he tried to rock back against Magnus, but was stopped by the grip on his hips.

Magnus gave him another long, slow thrust. “Do you think we have, like, a lot of that left? Or, like …” He pulled back again, paused, and then snapped his hips hard into Barry’s. Barry clapped his hand over his mouth to cover a desperate sound. “... not a lot of time left?”

“Not a lot of time,” Barry gasped through his fingers. “Barely any.”

“Yeah, okay.” Magnus dug his fingers into him and pulled, grinding them together. “That’s what I thought too.” He shifted his weight, and Barry had just enough time to grab the table edge again before Magnus started pounding him.

 

“ _Damn_ , babe.”

Barry ducked his head into the crook of Lup’s shoulder. “What?” They were still lying sideways, tangled together, and the lazy sway of their bodies stoked a delicious heat where his hardon pushed against her thighs.

“You’ve been holding out on me. How have we never talked before about how much you like it in the ass?”

“I. Um. You never asked?” He was blushing now. “It’s really not that big a deal to me.” Barry shifted so he could see her again. He furrowed his brow. “Also, because, uh ... I _really_ didn’t want you to think I expected that from you, specifically. You swapped out that hardware on purpose, and I would never ask--”

Lup let out an exasperated breath. “I still have _hands_ , Bear.”

Barry laughed, and she felt the tension in his back and shoulders soften.

“I mean, yeah,” she went on. “I wouldn’t bone you like Mags, even if I could. Not my thing. But …” Her voice took on a familiar playful note. “That doesn’t mean we can’t find another way to scratch that itch.”

Barry gave a shy smile. “Okay,” was all he could think of to say to that.

Lup leaned forward to kiss him. “Not this time, though.”

“This time?”

She pushed him gently onto his back, and his hands found her waist automatically as she climbed over his lap. Barry drank in her tangled hair, the way her breasts hung over his chest, the warmth in her eyes as she bent down to kiss him again.

“Ah,” he said with a smile. “This time.”

 

As promised, they didn’t last long. Barry braced himself against the rattling table as Magnus leaned over him, leaving fingernail marks in Barry’s shoulders as he slammed into the last few thrusts and came with a long grunt. Barry only had a couple seconds to bask in the secondhand relief before Magnus’s hand closed around him and started stroking with a steady rhythm. Still full and now dripping, Barry rocked swiftly into his own orgasm, moaning as he spilled into Magnus’s hand.

They were quiet for a minute, just catching their breaths. When Barry felt Magnus starting to slip out of him, he gestured quickly and mumbled a cantrip to clean them up.

“God,” said Magnus, “If I could learn just one spell, that one would be up there.”

Barry laughed. “Prestidigitation’s not that hard. I could teach it to you some time.”

“Nah.” Magnus hiked his pants up and started fastening them. “I’ve tried, it never makes any sense to me. Especially the ones with the hand stuff.” He wiggled his fingers.

“Huh. That’s weird.” Barry couldn’t resist a wink, and Magnus snickered.

 

Lup arched her back as she rode him, and even after a century of admiring her Barry felt a glimmer of awe at the sight. He slid his palms up her thighs and over her belly, stopping to roll her nipples between his fingertips. Lup moaned appreciatively and shifted her angle so she could grind her hips down onto him. She had already been soaking wet when she straddled him, and now she was flushed and breathing hard.

Barry thrust upwards to match her pace. Lup had known exactly what rhythm would pull him irresistibly into her momentum, making him ache with desperation even after the night they’d already had. He reached for her in revenge, sliding his hand between their dripping legs to press his thumb just above her clit. Lup’s expression changed immediately, her gasps opening into moans as he rubbed against her in perfect time.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Barry.” Her face reddened and she squeezed her eyes shut. The roll of her hips staggered but he caught her and fucked her relentlessly, holding nothing back until she dropped forward and pressed her mouth onto his. She whimpered into him as she shook through her orgasm, and before she could catch her breath he was rutting into her one last time and coming.

Lup slumped over Barry's chest with comedic bonelessness and a satisfied sigh. He chuckled, fitting his arms around her. They lay in comfortable silence, catching their breaths, until he shifted underneath her and she rolled off to one side to let him stretch.

“So then what happened?” Lup asked, after she had settled back on his shoulder.

“Hmm?” Barry's eyes had drifted closed, and he opened them to look over at her.

“Between you and Mags.”

“What do you mean?” He closed his eyes again. “He was with you the rest of the day.”

“You didn’t talk or anything?”

“Nah, not really. I think we--” He yawned. “--understood each other.”

Lup propped herself up on her elbows and poked him in the ribs. “You falling asleep on me, Bluejeans?”

Barry snorted. “After fucking you for the third time tonight? Yes. Yes I am.” He rolled onto his side and scooped her into his arms. “So sorry for my human limitations.”

Lup wriggled on principle, with no pretense of trying to escape. “You should be.”

Barry bent to kiss her shoulder one last time before settling into the pillows.

“You gonna stay?” he mumbled. He really was almost asleep.

Lup leaned into the warm press of his chest against her back. “Yeah,” she said. “For a while, anyway.”

He grunted acknowledgement and squeezed her gently. Lup felt his arms slowly relax. She closed her eyes, and gradually let herself match the slow rhythm of his breathing.


End file.
